Why a Facebook Detox is Necessary

So about a month ago I decided it was time for a Facebook break. Again. This is like the 10th time I've come to this conclusion since 2008. I just get fed up. There's always so much noise in my head anyway and with all of the content, groups, and notifications sometimes it's just too much. Plus, (PLUS), I manage and admin a few pages. I'm pretty sure I don't want to calculate up how much time I've spent on all of that. {embarrassing}

Every time I meet someone who tells me "I'm not on Facebook," I sort of step back and think how smart they are secretly! Something about being "off the grid" is intriguing and after the last few years, I'm all for stepping back and evaluating what things actually bring joy to my life. 

So this time, my goal for my MIA status on Facebook is longer than just a month. My first goal was just through the holidays, but now that it's been over a month I'm thinking I should shoot for longer!  

Besides checking the pages I admin and my messages, I don't know what's going on with anyone but myself and right now that's really helping me focus on what I'm doing. 

Here are some things I've learned: 

You need more time. Facebook is stealing it. Trust me. Once you start scrolling through that feed and get sidetracked by this personality quiz or that "interesting-but-possibly-fake news story," it's hard to look away. They have a hundred and one ways to take away your time and your sense of identity. Since I've been off of Facebook, specifically, I've read about 6 books, spent more time with my family doing puzzles, crafts, cooking together or just hanging out. 

Knowing every status a person makes doesn't make you better friends. And vice versa. I am "friends" with roughly 800 people, plus about 40 are following me (seeing all of my public posts most likely because of Jace) Some people I'm friends with and have seen in public, but even after making eye contact and smiling they keep walking. {why are we friends again?} Some people I know just from Facebook, but if I were to see them in real life walking down the cereal aisle at the local grocery store they would probably think I'm rude, because I don't recognize them! 

The things you want to see are being hidden from you by the algorithms (a fancy word for THEY ARE CONTROLLING YOUR EXPERIENCE). I swear I miss some of the most important goings-on from my most favorite friends because Facebook doesn't think I want to see them. And the pages I actually like and want to hear from often, nope. Those pages are out the window and replaced by the pages who've PAID for me to see them more often. I just can't. So I'm now making a point to be intentional with the people I see on a daily basis. I can control that experience and connect on a more personal level. 

Here's more about this philosophy from Forbes:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/anthonykosner/2013/03/06/how-facebooks-empire-of-opacity-is-hiding-posts-you-want-to-see/

You need less of them and more of you. I'm convinced that Facebook is the worst of the social media giants. Not only are they controlling what you see but it also creates a space for you to focus more on other people and less on you, your family, your dreams, and your spirit. Is it just me or is that the biggest problem ever? 

But, really, trust me, the trouble is we all think we have enough time. 

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." ~ James 4:14

And this is why Instagram is my jam right now......low maintenance, photos only. 

Embrace the Unraveling

I sat in my closet with a single Christmas cookie, giant glass of water, scissors, tape, wrapping paper, and the last few presents in need of wrapping. 

David Lantz's "The First Noel" played from my phone. 

It was only the first full day of no social media and already I felt FULL of more life and joy than in months prior. 

I realized after a quick visit to the dollar store that this challenge was allowing God to make my interactions with others more intentional and divine. 

At first, I hid on the back aisles fearing I'd have an up-close view of the loud voices complaining about trivial things. I only went for one item yet walked out 40 minutes later. 

As I found my chance to dart for the door, I spotted her and she spotted me. We made eye contact. I knew she knew how I felt for she was going through a very similar experience. Turns out she had been on the back aisles minutes before hearing someone else complain. Our interaction that day was God sent for both of us. Finding people who really can identify with the emotions, the fears, the anxieties, life smallest joys.....Priceless. 

Before we parted ways, I re-quoted a quote from my favorite non-profit, Peach's Neet Feet: 

"Embrace the Unraveling."

Yes, THAT is what I've learned from 2013. 

No matter how bad things were or how hard the days were to get through, I know that the only thing in my control was my response. I could either be grateful despite it all or bitter despite it all. 

"Embrace the Unraveling."

As I sat in the closet, I realized I was being more intentional with my interactions, more genuine with my words, and more disciplined with my time. 

Here's what I can tell you: 

It wasn't easy the first week. 
I'm still checking messages on our FB pages and posting #superJace updates. 
I have no idea what anyone else is doing and I'm ok with that. 
I've read 4 books. Yep. FOUR. And almost finished with my 5th. 
I've painted furniture! 
I've called and talked to people just to talk. 
I've had some mind-blowing thoughts, yet saved them for myself instead of the world. 
I've learned to sit and just listen to whatever is happening around me: drum beats, dollhouse pretend play, football games, music, the dishwasher, crackling fire, the wind, or nothing at all. 
I don't have to post where I am on every outing accompanied by a photo or a selfie. 
I cooked and cooked and cooked for fun. 
I wrote in my journal. 
Organized items for Operation Love. 
Jason and I talked more. 
I played dolls and drums and watched Disney movies the kids picked out. 


Not only does my family have my undivided attention, but, most importantly, God does. And I can tell you that He's already placed new things on my heart to grow through. He's teaching me, molding me and leading me. 

I'm more in His presence because I'm allowing Him to be more in mine. 

I had to take a break from the world. The last year was one of the biggest seasons of my life and it's only fair that I take time to reflect and learn from it so I can move forward with more strength than ever. :)  

Wishing you lots of love, gratitude, and favor for your 2014! 

xoxoxo