Why a Facebook Detox is Necessary

So about a month ago I decided it was time for a Facebook break. Again. This is like the 10th time I've come to this conclusion since 2008. I just get fed up. There's always so much noise in my head anyway and with all of the content, groups, and notifications sometimes it's just too much. Plus, (PLUS), I manage and admin a few pages. I'm pretty sure I don't want to calculate up how much time I've spent on all of that. {embarrassing}

Every time I meet someone who tells me "I'm not on Facebook," I sort of step back and think how smart they are secretly! Something about being "off the grid" is intriguing and after the last few years, I'm all for stepping back and evaluating what things actually bring joy to my life. 

So this time, my goal for my MIA status on Facebook is longer than just a month. My first goal was just through the holidays, but now that it's been over a month I'm thinking I should shoot for longer!  

Besides checking the pages I admin and my messages, I don't know what's going on with anyone but myself and right now that's really helping me focus on what I'm doing. 

Here are some things I've learned: 

You need more time. Facebook is stealing it. Trust me. Once you start scrolling through that feed and get sidetracked by this personality quiz or that "interesting-but-possibly-fake news story," it's hard to look away. They have a hundred and one ways to take away your time and your sense of identity. Since I've been off of Facebook, specifically, I've read about 6 books, spent more time with my family doing puzzles, crafts, cooking together or just hanging out. 

Knowing every status a person makes doesn't make you better friends. And vice versa. I am "friends" with roughly 800 people, plus about 40 are following me (seeing all of my public posts most likely because of Jace) Some people I'm friends with and have seen in public, but even after making eye contact and smiling they keep walking. {why are we friends again?} Some people I know just from Facebook, but if I were to see them in real life walking down the cereal aisle at the local grocery store they would probably think I'm rude, because I don't recognize them! 

The things you want to see are being hidden from you by the algorithms (a fancy word for THEY ARE CONTROLLING YOUR EXPERIENCE). I swear I miss some of the most important goings-on from my most favorite friends because Facebook doesn't think I want to see them. And the pages I actually like and want to hear from often, nope. Those pages are out the window and replaced by the pages who've PAID for me to see them more often. I just can't. So I'm now making a point to be intentional with the people I see on a daily basis. I can control that experience and connect on a more personal level. 

Here's more about this philosophy from Forbes:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/anthonykosner/2013/03/06/how-facebooks-empire-of-opacity-is-hiding-posts-you-want-to-see/

You need less of them and more of you. I'm convinced that Facebook is the worst of the social media giants. Not only are they controlling what you see but it also creates a space for you to focus more on other people and less on you, your family, your dreams, and your spirit. Is it just me or is that the biggest problem ever? 

But, really, trust me, the trouble is we all think we have enough time. 

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." ~ James 4:14

And this is why Instagram is my jam right now......low maintenance, photos only. 

Worry --Joy

5:00 AM - I woke up overwhelmed with worry. I couldn't go back to sleep. 
5:30 AM - After 30 minutes of talking to God and repeating scripture in my head, I snuggled up to Jason and just cried, then we prayed together. 
6:00 AM- I decided to just simply ask for prayer on FB and twitter. 

Wednesdays are always big days for us. It use to be every Wednesday. Now it's just a few Wednesdays a month. They DO become routine in our minds, but actually going through them is a different story. I mentally start preparing the day before which makes it hard to concentrate on anything else.

There's nothing routine about your child having to have chemo, a lumbar puncture, or stay in a clinic for most of the day. 

I DO worry about a multitude of things, but usually only for a millisecond until I redirect my thought process. 

This morning was different. I knew last night that anxieties were high around our house. They always are when Jace goes in for a big day, even in maintenance. My instinct was to let Avery miss school and go with us. I had no idea why. 

This morning was different. I don't wake up often with such heavy worry surrounding me, but it was engulfing me so that I woke up because of it. 

SO I stopped and sent out this specific prayer request:

Specific prayer for Jason & I today: for the worries we have (finances, girls, jobs, this day with Jace) to be overtaken by complete faith and trust. This struggle is real and I have no doubt we are being molded for something else, but YOUR prayers and HIS grace sustain us and hold us up. #gratitude

By 6:30, I began feeling better and feeling like I could get up and tackle whatever was in store. We did let Avery miss school and go with us. She has a spirit that calms Jace and makes him do things with more ease - like putting on numbing cream on the places that will be "poked" or going back to the "sleepy room." She is such a warrior herself because the things we did today, however "routine," are still difficult to just watch from the sidelines. She learned what a lumbar puncture is and why we do them and how cancer cells like to "hide" out around the spinal cord. 

That alone could keep me in a place of worry.

BUT

Just like He always has, God took our worries and transformed them into JOY. 

A great friend dropped off lunch for us after her bible study. 

We got to see our Children's Legacy family - ALL of them: nurses, drs, families, patients!

We laughed A LOT today. 

We had some divine appointments that we know God had all planned out. 

We had Operation Love bags delivered to Dallas today! 

We were contacted by some amazing people for some small, yet amazing opportunities. 

Those opportunities are just reminders to us that God has a MUCH bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves. 

MANY, MANY of you are praying for us and lifting our family up. 

We decided to try to start a BIG movement called #yellowWednesdays for #childhoodcancerawareness. (we hope you will join us to support all the families affected!)

Pete Delkus and John McCaa  (WFAA8) RT our tweet about #yellowWednesdays! 

We had a carpet picnic dinner and watched The Middle (our favorite family show). 

Pete Delkus briefly talked about Jace and our family during the 5 pm news on WFAA. (we missed it) 

We heard that the last line of that broadcast was "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!" 

This morning I woke up with overwhelming worry. 

Tonight, I sign off and go to bed with overwhelming joy.

Friends supporting Super Jace!
(including Jody Dean, Pete Delkus, John McCaa)

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Levels of Gratitude and Thanksgiving

One of the biggest misconceptions is that everyone's gratitude will look the same. That is the biggest downfall of practicing gratitude: comparison. 

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to speak with a group of church ladies. When I arrived, I had no idea that they were studying: Lord, Change MY ATTITUDE by James McDonald & Barb Pell 

The chapter just happened to be about gratitude. 

I love how God works all things together for our good. He even works out the smallest of details and if we are present and conscious enough we won't miss them. 

I can vividly take myself back to that moment in the small church that so much resembled the little church I grew up in. Their smiles, their stories, their hearts opened up so much love in my own heart. I was so glad I took my oldest daughter with me. We were able to share our mission of #OperationLove with them and to sit with them during their study of McDonald's book.

My biggest takeaway was this: Our gratitude cannot be compared because we are all on a different level on any given day. 

When we look into a mirror we see our own reflection. We do not look exactly like anyone else. We do not think like anyone else. We do not THANK like anyone else. 

"Faith grows in the soil of gratitude." 

Earlier today on https://www.facebook.com/40daysofthankfulness I posted this photo: 

This level of thankfulness is what we all want to achieve but just like we cannot go from kindergarten to college we cannot easily be thankful for the bad. 

It's easy to be thankful for the good. To be thankful IN the bad, THAT is what we all need to strive for daily. 

Some of us are on the "kindergarten" level of thankfulness. We are thankful when the good stuff happens, when it's Thanksgiving Day/Week, when we are reminded by others to be thankful for what we have, but mostly the feeling just isn't always there and we fall into complaint more often than we'd like to admit. 

Others of us are on the "high school" level of thankfulness. We are thankful and can make the choice to be thankful. We also can always find something to be  thankful for, but in the bad times we are, typically, tripped up and fall back into the "why me?" state of mind. 

To experience pure joy, we have to reach the collegiate level of thankfulness. "To give thanks always for all things." That's the goal. To be able to be thankful even in the bad things, even in the things you wouldn't choose - that's where the joy is. 

I'm often told "This isn't as easy as I thought. How do I find gratitude now? I just can't be where you are. I just don't know how you are being thankful while cancer is changing your life."

BUT I AM. 

Granted, I've had lots of practice. 

If you took time to read the journals shown here and were able to weed through all of the "boy nonsense," you'd be able to see that I have always tried to see the good in the worst situations. I could look at my life as a journey filled with the worst, but doing that only makes my present worse. As my journals become more recent, my gratitude comes out in full force and is much more apparent. I began seeing what was REALLY important and that put me on a spiritual journey that I'm still growing in. 

It did not happen overnight. Nothing ever does. It's all about being consistent. If you aren't good with consistent healthy eating, working out, spending, or prayer, then you can bet your consistency with gratitude will also need some work. 

You didn't graduate from kindergarten and immediately graduate from high school. You had a lot of work, practice and consistent accountability first. The same thing has to happen with your gratitude. 

Leave a journal by YOUR bed, leave a sticky note pad, keep a stack of 3 x 5 cards and every night before bed write down ONE thing you're thankful for EVERY night. That alone will take you to a new level of gratitude and change your attitude. 

If someone were to be able to see your thoughts, would they mostly see negative, unappreciative, and petty frustrations? Or would they see you being full of praise even during illness, loss, or struggle? 

In every moment, ask yourself: AM I CHOOSING THANKFULNESS NOW?

Gratitude isn't something I've "achieved." Gratitude is something I have to consciously choose every second just like the next person. I just know from a lifetime of experience that gratitude will ground you so that even tragic life-changing events cannot tear you down. 

And on that note, from my family to yours, we wish you the happiest of Thanksgiving Days filled with joys, laughter, and love even if it's in the midst of loud kids, dirty dishes, or lots of travel. 

"The smallest things really are BIG things." 

Love & gratitude,