When Your Kids Ask.....

When your kids ask to paint a pumpkin at 9 pm on a school night, say YES and do it WITH enthusiasm. 

When your kids ask you to clean the pumpkin & make pumpkin seeds, say YES and do it with enthusiasm. 

Even if you're the only one to eat them, remember THESE are the MOMENTS they will remember for a lifetime. Super Jace has taught us to savor each moment, breathe in every second, and put your complaints aside. 

They might just be pumpkin seeds to you, but this year for us they are a symbol of family tradition, a reminder that our family is together and they really ARE yummy. :) 

Poncio Famly Pumpkin Seeds

*Every year our recipe changes, but this is usually the recipe we start off with. 

Bowl of freshly cleaned out pumpkin seeds

A cup of boiling hot water

Garlic Salt

Garlic Powder

Table Salt

Pepper

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1. After separating out the seeds from the pulp, place seeds in a bowl. 

2. Chances are you'll still have pulp, so pour the boiling water over the remaining seeds and pulp. Let sit a few minutes. Preheat oven to 400º 

3. Spread seeds on a cookie sheet. ( We use non-stick foil)

4. Drizzle EVOO and give seeds a little stir. 

5. Sprinkle the garlic powder and garlic salt over the seeds. Stir. 

6. Add a little table salt and black pepper. Stir once more to spread seasoning evenly. 

7. Cook for about 20-30 minutes or until golden brown. Keep a close eye on them and stir occasionally.

These are a family favorite and we usually have to clean out several pumpkins for everyone to get their fill.  Some of us, (no names) just eat them whole because they taste so good. ;) 

Enjoy and savor the taste AND the time with your loved ones! 

Love & gratitude,

40 Days of Thankfulness Challenge 2013

We want to, personally, invite you to join us for our annual thankfulness challenge! 

We can tell you from our experiences this year that gratitude can't change your circumstances BUT it CAN change your attitude and teach you to find the light in a dark situation. 

You can join via Facebook here: www.facebook.com/40daysofthankfulness 

Check the events page or see details below! U can do a personal journal, tweets, Instagram, FB status, or whatever works for you. 

We'd love to hear from you about how gratitude has changed YOUR life! 

Love & gratitude, 

Tisha

• Anywhere: Facebook status, twitter, Instagram, personal journal, notes app, whiteboard, text, email, phone call - whatever works best for you!

• **Start October 8, End November 16 ** Every October we join together and challenge ourselves to post, write, or SHARE and DECLARE one gratitude per day. We are on our 6th year and challenge you to invite your entire friends list to join us! This year is especially a big year for us as #childhoodcancer has changed our family and now we know for sure that grabbing #gratitude can't change your circumstance, but it CAN change your attitude! (You can read about our journey or follow here: www.caringbridge.org/visit/jaceponcio  www.facebook.com/graceforjace) We will throw in some specific challenges to get you really thinking and will also share some testimonials from those who've seen their lives and perspectives change as they worked through their 40 Days.  40 Days is really about cleansing your mind & heart and detoxing from the negative, toxic thoughts, bitterness, unforgivness of others or ourselves, low self esteem, focusing on lack, or dwelling on mistakes. If you're ready to GROW to your next level, this will help you jump start! Be ready, be open, be EXPECTING it to change your outlook and your life.  #40DaysofThankfulnessChallenge  #40DaysofThankfulness (tag your posts, pictures or tweets with this)

10 Minute Hospital Workout

Living healthy is something I've always tried to strive for. Early on, I remember exercising and eating right being a part of my life. My dad use to buy crazy "health" food and I loved it.

 It wasn't always easy to be healthy and active because depending on the seasons of my life I would battle myself and my mindset. "I don't have time. I do have time. I can't do this. I can do this." Most of the time the only obstacle I had was myself. 

There was a point I was a size 6 (high school AND after baby #2) and there was a point when I was a size 16 (after baby #1). Today, I don't worry as much about what the scale says as much as I do about putting good things in my body and being active daily. 

But what if you're a caregiver? What if you find yourself in and out of hospitals? What if you're also juggling a full time job? What if most of your time and energy is given to caring for a sick child? 

Moms are busy no matter what, but I can tell you those of us affected by childhood cancer have a lot to juggle. 

So why workout? 

You KNOW this answer. 

You CAN'T take care of others if you don't take care of yourself. 

You WILL have more energy. 

Your mind set will be more positive. 

Your stress level will lower. 

You'll be more likely to focus and tackle your day. 

Your body, mind and spirit will be more aligned. 

You're more likely to eat better when you workout. 

We have made it a priority to workout at least 3-5 times a week since Jace was diagnosed. We don't have extra money for expensive gym memberships and so we do things at home like DDP yoga or basketball or just walk the track for an hour. 

When we are really short  on time, we do this little ten minute workout. We call it our "Hospital Room Workout" because it's all things you can do while passing time at the hospital. We even do it on early clinic days. 

If you can, do it TWICE to get your heft pumping!!! :))) 

Hospital Room Workout

(for Caregivers) 

1 minute down dog

25 crunches

1 min plank or  30 second plank

25 high knees

10 push-ups (adv single leg) 

10 squats

15 burpees

1 minute  wall sit

30 second calf raises

1 min squat punches

Cat lift/cat arch or upward facing dog

Repeat depending on time. 20 min workout is ideal if short on time. 

Live healthy DESPITE your circumstances!!! 

Xoxo

Tisha 

Faces of #ChildhoodCancer

We promised to show you some amazing kids and if you've been following Grace for Jace, you've been seeing our kid spotlights every few days! 

As you know, life is super busy and to blog in two different places is truly a miracle. :P

We decided to post our kid spotlights along with their blurb and the place you can learn more about their story! 

This Ashley and Austin. They are both #heroes in our eyes and are symbols of #HOPE to us each day.

Ashley was diagnosed with (ALL) #Leukemia in Sept 2007 when she was 3 years old and completed treatment during kindergarten (2009.) 

Austin was diagnosed with (ALL) #Leukemia in July 2010 and finished treatment this month! 

This is Karly! She holds a special place in our hearts as we were there in the days cancer changed her family. At 14, she was diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma. She's had two reoccurrences since her first treatment and endured several surgeries. Today, she is 19 and stable with 2 spots on her lungs that are not growing. Her phrase is "Keep Calm and Carry On" and that's exactly what she is doing!  www.caringbridge.org/visit/karly

Jace and Kieran have become "super" friends during their time at the clinic. Kieran is 2 and just one week ahead in the same treatment as Jace. He's one of the sweetest boys we've met and ALWAYS brightens our days. Here's Kieran's story!

Our family met Trent at Dallas Children's in June riding the halls just as you see here! 

Trenton was diagnosed on January 2, 2013 with Stage IV, high risk Neuroblastoma (n-mync amp) two weeks before his 1st birthday. Trenton had tumors in his adrenal gland, lymph nodes, bone marrow, and bones.

Trenton is now 20 months old and is NED (no evidence of disease). He's undergone 8 rounds of chemotherapy, 4 surgeries, bone marrow transplant, numerous hospital stays and 12 rounds of radiation.

He has scans the week of September 23rd. Trenton will begin antibody therapy/immunotherapy during October which will last for 6 months.

Please follow Trenton's story here:https://www.facebook.com/pages/Team-TRENT/524873370878641?ref=br_tf

Phoebe 
There's not enough days/weeks in September to spotlight all that are affected by childhood cancer.

Today, we ask for you to pray for a very special family with a very special girl. Phoebe's dad went to HS with Jason. 
You'll want to catch up on Phoebe's story here:
https://www.facebook.com/PrayForPhoebe



We ask that you "adopt" a family and a child every September and that you follow their story, get to know their family and continue to lift them up with love and prayer! 

As always.....

In gratitude,
Tisha

Where Do We Belong

If we aren't at home or at the clinic, we often feel left out, out of the loop, or just not part of a group. We feel the stares when we are out or feel that some just are more wrapped up in themselves than to even think about what we are dealing with daily. 

It's hard to explain, but it's more difficult as each day passes to feel worlds apart from those around us. 

Here are a few thoughts I had one day after going into Toys R Us with Jace, but it applies to many places we go daily:  

it's a lonely place from where i stand

your stares are silent yet drown out the rumble of laughter and noise

are you brave enough to say anything or will your eyes and thoughts be forced to something more joyful?

it's too sad for you,  yet it's my everyday. 

your presence is faded and your absence says more than you ever could.

I know we are not the only parents who feel this, whose lives have changed, and who are different people than the ones who started this journey. 

It's for that reason alone I write about our perspective. 

#childhoodcancerawareness

I Call Myself a Warrior :)

If this is the first time you've stopped by, welcome. Originally, this blog was started to chronicle all the lessons I've learned in gratitude. But since my son, Jace's, diagnosis of leukemia in January 2013, I haven't had any time to actually blog about much of anything else and spend most of my time blogging here, posting here, or capturing our life here. 

You can go back and read posts about isolation, an amazing night out with New Kids on the Block, and my best birthday EVA! You can go back even further and find out more about why I started On the Wings of Gratitude and why I want to, eventually, write a book about how to be grateful no matter which struggles come your way (death, adoption, divorce, addiction, cancer). 

I've always been pretty open about my life experiences, but the spotlight that cancer put us in just about tops them all. We now have a platform to speak from and are more than passionate about how cancer affects and changes families just like us. 

We've decided to use this space for the month of September to spotlight some of the awesome and heroic families and kids we've met along this journey. 

As you may know September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month and we vow to remind everyone we meet  that even though it's difficult for them to process, cancer doesn't discriminate young, old, rich, poor, big, little. We don't just want you to be aware that it's happening. We want you to be aware how it's changing people, families and lives. We want you to care enough to not look away. 

So, get your heart ready to meet some of the world's biggest heroes! 

Tonight, I thought I'd give a little humor insight into our lives. This story isn't typically something I'd share on our caring bridge site and so I thought it would be best to share here. 

Thursday started off good enough. The kids got off to school and Jace woke up feeling good. He took his medicines without much of a fight and, eventually, started eating like a champ. Hummus was his food of choice. With a spoon. 

I had a meeting I had to be at that morning and so our sweet friend, Jen, stayed with Jace for a few minutes and played trains. (Note: If you want Jace to be your BFF, just play trains or cars with him and you'll have his heart for life.) 

After the meeting, I tried my best to get him to rest, but because he is Super Jace (he says "That's why I'm Super Jace!") he wanted to run around and wrestle. Yes, even after having chemo the day before. 

The time came when we had to load up and drive the short distance to pick up his big sister. Normally, this distance wouldn't be a big deal. It's truly not THAT far, but add in "soccer mom" traffic, construction that goes for miles, and a detour to just get to the school and it's a recipe for a disaster. 

About 5 minutes into our journey, Jace says "My stomach hurts BAD!" and tears followed. 

Great. Do I turn around? Do I keep going? This so wasn't in my plan. 

I kept going. I soon found myself in the car pick up line with my seat belt off, holding my sweet boy who was still crying, and trying to juggle the throw up bucket (aka a cut up milk jug) all while trying to maneuver the car around the pick up trail. 

Finally, we were through the line and parked so we could regroup for the next 1/2 of the trip home. Jace is still saying his stomach hurts and his sister is doing everything possible to soothe him as we bump along the road. 

Just when I think we are in the clear, we drive up into the garage and get  out. 

"MOM!" 

Yep. We made it, but not without the throw up bucket getting used. :) 

Everyone needed some baths, new changes of clothes and some time to rest. Thankfully, oldest sister got a ride home from her dance practice. 

Soon, I found myself on the phone for several hours trying to sort some small "dramas" out. In the middle of all of that, I learned hubby would be working until midnight and before I knew it, it was already 10 pm! 

Finally, everyone was in bed and I was exhausted. Definitely harder than a full day at work. As I took a moment to finally breathe, I saw a small shadow beside me and then heard a tiny voice say: 

"Mom, I'm hungry." 

Yep. I forgot to feed the kids DINNER. 

*sigh* 

This is just a reminder out there to all of you that trick yourself into thinking I have it altogether. 

Days later, I can tell you that even in the moments of that day and the large amounts of stress I felt coming at me in all directions, the bigger picture was that we all make mistakes, we all have a lot going on, no one is perfect, we all are doing the best we can, and tomorrow is another day! 

As moms, it's easy to fall into the traps of lies we tell ourselves or into the "mom competition" that is written in invisible ink. 

We need to remember this: 

The most important things in life are the moments we get to spend with those we love no matter what obstacles come our way throughout the day. 

In Gratitude,

Tisha

Isolation

**as posted on www.caringbridge.org/visit/jaceponcio/journal**

We never thought we'd know so many versions of this word. 

Initially, we think of Jace being on isolation because his ANC is so low. But after 7 months of the day-in-day-out, I can tell you there's a lot more to the word.

I searched and searched this week for articles and blogs on the emotional affects of families affected by cancer. Nothing.

Well, there IS stuff, but not the stuff I was particularly looking for and nothing genuinely written. It was a lot of medical research done on families who had a family member with cancer or taking chemo.

Meh.

Not a coincidence that on Friday, Jason ran into some other families who were staying in the stem cell portion of the hospital that we were. (No, Jace doesn't need a stem cell transplant, he just gets the first room available)

Their conversations to him went something like this:

"We've been going through this for 2 1/2 years. It does feel like isolation. People don't know what you're going through. Even if they think they know, they really don't unless they are in the middle of it all with you." 

"People do help with meals and gift cards and/or cleaning our house and it DOES help, but we never feel like anyone truly understands." 

"I'm a grandma and the only one who is really taking care of [him.] I don't have a car and taking care of everything is hard."

This is one of the most isolating experiences ever. The emotional toll that it all takes on us is something that can barely be put into words. It's like the 5 of us have gone to war together and really no one else can come close to knowing all of the feelings involved. We've got a bond together that no one can touch and it's definitely brought us all a lot closer together.

As I continued to think on the topic of "isolation," I began thinking of it in a deeper sense. (I know you're not surprised.)

Isolating experiences are necessary for God to mold you and make you. I think back to Esther, Daniel, Job, Noah, Mary and Joseph from the Bible. Each one of them had some sort of isolating experience(s) and many times those were the times they were touched by God for something great.

Today, during a run, I did my own little Bible study on isolation. At first it seems to be seen as negative thing to shut yourself off from the world:

"A man, having separated himself, seeks his own desire, and rages against all sound wisdom." ~Proverbs 18:1
Then, as I dug deeper I found more of what I was feeling:

"Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world isolates out love for the Father. ~1 John 2:15  Msg
"Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray". ~Mark 1:35 NLT

"He said to them, “Come with me privately to an isolated place and rest a while” (for many were coming and going, and there was no time to eat)." ~Mark 6:31 NET

Since Thursday, we've taken a step back from social media, texting, etc. If you have heard from us less, this is why. We've needed to take a spiritual and emotional deep breath. No noise, no world, just us and God. We need time to recharge, to gain strength, to have clarity and just be.

Jason and I have had this conversation a lot in the last 6 months.
We often feel out of the loop and as if we do not fit in anywhere. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just something we haven't felt. It's not a secret. We don't fit in. We are different. Life has changed.

People tend to think, 'Well, Jace is doing chemo and once it's over, everything will go back to how it was before. They'll be back to who they were.'

Nope. Not even close. We will all never, ever be the way were were before. We will not respond as before, we will not live as before, we will not love as before, we will not go back to the before.  Right now it's hard for people to understand that we cannot be as available as we were before: emotionally & physically.

Typically, we believe to give 110% to everything we do, but now, we can't step up and go above and beyond at work, at church, with friends, with family. It takes some getting use to and people close to us have chosen to not be a part of our lives anymore because of the great change. We aren't angry by this, we just know that as others' seasons change from winter/spring to summer/fall, our season is leukemia, chemo, healing, and maintenance.

It's hard for others to understand how deep we've been touched by this experience. Work seems trivial, we aren't as OCD about laundry, dishes, scheduling, and on another level our passions have changed completely. We want to speak out for those who've come before us on this journey. We want to raise awareness for childhood cancer and, more importantly, we want to support the FAMILIES affected on an emotional level.

We don't know what our future holds, but we hold strong to the knowledge that God is for us and wants to prosper us and give hope.

For now, we leave you with this reading from Jesus Calling. 
July 14: Keep Walking

Keep walking with Me along the path I have chosen for you. Your desire to live closer to Me is a delight to my heart. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up the hight mountain. The journey arduous at times and you are weak. Someday you will dance light-footed on the high peaks, but for now your walk is often plodding and heavy. All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging My hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of Life. 

Love and gratitude,
Tisha & Jason